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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25606141">anagapesis</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaypottah/pseuds/okaypottah'>okaypottah</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Heartbreak, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Moving On, Post-Timeskip, Self-Hatred, They hate being vulnerable, Tianshan - Freeform, mafia stuff, more adds to be added</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:07:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25606141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaypottah/pseuds/okaypottah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He could lie. Something about his brother suddenly sending him away. He <i> could </i> lie and he should too, if he wants to be let back into Mo’s life.</p><p>But he straightens his back and meets Mo’e eyes, nodding once. “Yes.” He’s surprised at how small his voice sounds. Clearing his throat, he adds, “Yes, I knew.”</p><p>—</p><p><b> anagapesis </b> <i> n. loss of feelings for someone who was formerly loved ; falling out of love </i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>anagapesis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>welcome \(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)/ </p><p>i wrote this solely because i came across the word in the title and it sounded so pretty. yes.</p><p>continuation from that christmas chapter after the timeskip. (i do not remember the ch number, sorry.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s .. not much but uh, sit down or whatever.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian watches as the redhead turns his back to him, pulling off his hoodie. The shirt underneath, stuck, hikes up with it, revealing stripe of pale skin and He Tian’s eyes glue to it, a familiar heat pooling in his stomach. <em>Oh</em>, its good to be back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dark-haired man is taking steps forward before he can finish the thought, fingers just lighly grazing the revealed skin and his lips curl into an amused smile as Mo flinches at the touch before letting out a string of creative insults, muffled because of the half-on half-off hoodie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Calm down, I’m not doing anything.” He Tian says, holding back a chuckle. “You looked like you needed a hand.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t need <em>a hand</em> to take off a piece of <em>clothing</em>, you fucking shit.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s doubled efforts to pull off combined with his refusal to touch He Tian—who was standing too close— only resulted in his shirt getting pulled up further and his arms getting stuck and He Tian has to bite down on his lower lip to not burst out laughing. <em>Mo is so cute.</em> He Tian is not complaining, at all. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs. “As vulgar as always, my Little Mo.” Mo stills as He Tian grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it down, covering his torso— <em>sadly</em>, he thinks— and he holds it there till Mo finally gets it off. He smells like sweat and smoke. Must have been working longer shifts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t turn around, so He Tian only gets an eyeful of red locks as he hears the redhead murmur, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian grins, dropping his voice to a seductive whisper. “You sure you don’t need a hand there too, Little Mo?” Mo doesn’t answer, so He Tian takes it to himself to move closer and lean down— Mo is still smaller than him, he notices, thank god, he didn’t have a growth spurt while He Tian was gone— and he can see the fine hair on the back of Mo’s neck stand up as he asks, lowly. “Didn’t <em>Little Mo</em> miss me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Little Mo. Haha, get it? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” The answer is clipped and He Tian leans back and blinks at the coldness in his voice. Mo steps away, picking up a stray sock and a t-shirt from the floor. “I’m going to wash up. I have an early shift tomorrow so leave before I get back.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, wait a sec,” At his words Mo turns his head, and his expression makes He Tian uneasy. The pinch between his brows is gone, but he looks.. tired, corners of his lips dipped in a light frown. Mo telling him to fuck off is not totally out of what he had imagined but this feels different. Mo feels different. Still, “Can I stay over?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian makes a disagreement noise in the back of his throat. “Pff, don’t be like that. You did miss me, I know it, so let’s make up for the time we’ve lost.” His lips are curled into a smile. “So? Can I stay over tonight?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know, can you, without turning tail in the morning?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes a moment for him to understand the words. When they do, He Tian’s eyes widen a fraction. “What?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sighs, dumping the clothing he had gathered up in his arms onto a nearby chair. “I can just tell you had expected it all to go back to how it was before.” He picks up the sock that fell down and drops it on top of the pile. “You know, I don’t know why I even brought you here. I’m so fucking dumb.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo..” He Tian swallows, “I had to, there was no other way. If I could have stayed, I would have, you know that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, okay. Just tell me one thing. I’ve always wondered about this,” Mo looks at him, “Did you already know?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian stills. <em>Oh no</em>, he thinks, <em>oh fuck no</em>. Mo’s reaction when He Tian showed up at his workplace had had him convinced Mo missed him enough for things to go back to normal— or even <em>better</em>, if their last encounter was anything special to the redhead. And with that thought process, he had absolutely forgotten about Mo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What had he been upto to? How was he? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Did he still ..? </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is looking at him, looking at him in a way he never has before. <em>Did you already know?</em> He already knows the answer, they both know that. It’s like he’s got his fingers around He Tian’s wrist already, but he wants He Tian to twist the knife. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could lie. Something about his brother suddenly sending him away. He <em>could</em> lie and he should too, if he wants to be let back into Mo’s life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he straightens his back and meets Mo’e eyes, nodding once. “Yes.” He’s surprised at how small his voice sounds. Clearing his throat, he adds, “Yes, I knew.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you still—“ Mo breaks off, his voice catching in his throat and He Tian tilts his head up, gazing at the ceiling. “Bastard.” There’s a yellow stain in the right corner. “You absolute fucking bastard.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry.” What else is he supposed to say? “I didn’t have a choice.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You didn’t with going away. But with me—“ He did, He Tian knows he did have a choice with Mo, “god, do you have any idea what it was like for me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry.” He repeats. The stain looks blurry and he realizes he hasn’t blinked in a while. He blinks. “I’m sorry, Mo.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t <em>care</em>.” There’s a waver to his voice. “I’m tired. Leave.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo..” He Tian swallows thickly, his throat dry. “It’s been two years, I’ve—“ <em>missed you so much I could barely sleep, kept going on nothing other than the hope of seeing you after it ends and telling you yes I love you t—</em> “changed. Don’t do this.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I’ve changed too. I‘m not—“ Mo stops, clenching his jaw. “Things aren’t going back to how they were. I’ll make that much clear. I don’t want you around anymore. Don’t show up again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo, you have to understand, I didn’t want—“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t <em>have to</em> do anything.” He says, “I don’t give a fuck. I’ve moved on and <em>shit</em> if I’m gonna let you put me through all that again. Get the fuck out while I’m still being nice.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian understands.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has no right to ask anything of Mo— not until he earns it. And he will, because he is one stubborn son of a bitch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stops at the threshold, but doesn’t turn back. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His vision blurs for a whole different reason when Mo replies, his voice colored with raw emotion, </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I wish you had never come back.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[updates will begin after i finish my other fic .. hopefully]</p><p>let me know your thoughts! kudos and comments are appreciated as always!!   （＾∇＾）</p></blockquote></div></div>
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